Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Quote:

"The will of God is found in the Word of God. The more a person grows, the more he begins to think instinctively and habitually from a divine perspective."

~~Howard Hendricks

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Did You Ever Wonder??? (Humor)

Can you cry under water?


 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


 


 

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?


 

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


 


 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


 

What disease did cured ham actually have?


 


 


 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


 


 


 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


 


 


 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


 


 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


 


 


 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


 


 


 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.


 


 


 

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


 


 


 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


 


 


 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


 


 


 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?


 


 


 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


 


 


 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


 


 


 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


 


 


 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


 


 


 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


 


 


 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


 


 


 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


 


 


 

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


 


 


 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


 

Monday, January 14, 2008

She's Not Into God If...


1. She's always gotta a "word" from the Lord for you but her own life is jacked up.
2. She'll speak in "tongues" but cuss you out in the next breath.
3. She brings the baggage from all her previous relationships and expecting you to rescue her from it.
(Hint: here's a few signs)
a. She sits in front of your house at night to see if you are cheating on her.
b. She cusses you out, breaks up with you and then calls you back the next day and say the devil got into her.
c. She's smothering you, you can't breathe! She texts you all day and blows up your phone. Check it out; if she's your last 8 missed calls, this is her.
4. She was late for church Sunday morning because she spent Saturday night out over her man's house.
5. Keisha Cole is in high rotation on her iPod.
6. The only laying on of hands she is familiar with is her boyfriend's.
7. The phrase, "God told me I'm your wife" is her way of getting a man.
8. Her tithe goes to the hair and nail shop.
9. She sings in the choir but everybody knows that she's the church wh***.
10. Her myspace nickname is Sexy Saint.
11. She won't fornicate but she'll perform other sexual favors on her boo.
12. She church hops like she man hops.
13. The only scripture she knows is "Palms" 23.
14. Oprah is her pastor.
15. She played the perfect saint in church but got to your house and threw herself on you!
16. She ain't gon' put her business out there like that, but she could be a guest on Jerry Springer.
17. She thinks that sleeping with one man is celibacy.
18. Nobody at work knows that she's "saved."
19. She thinks that blessed and highly favored is a scripture.
20. She only goes to church so pastor can prophesy her a husband.
21. She's read Confession Of A Video Vixen but haven't picked up her Bible in the last 7 months.
22. She has to look for her Bible every time she goes to Church.
23. She's the pastor's daughter but everybody knows that she and Deacon Johnson are sleeping together.
24. She thinks she's a Proverbs 31 Woman but couldn't tell you the book after it.
25. The flavor of Love is her favorite show.
26. She says she's ready for a husband, but she wakes up every morning and doesn't pray to the one she already has: God.
27. She thinks that sleeping with her baby's daddy is not consider sexual sin.
28. Her excuse for dating a sinner is to get him saved.
29. She has the audacity to say, "I rebuke you satan" when you tell her about her compromising lifestyle.
30. She clicks on the dating banners and ads on Myspace.
31. "I ain't where I used to be" is not a testimony for her but her excuse for sinning.
32. She only comes over your house at night for Bible study.
33. She's really not with you to help you grow in God; she's nothing more than a Delilah to get you to pay her bills and then throw you to the devil after she destroys you.
34. She is offended because this list describes her.
Dr.Ty
If you have been described in this list, it's never too late to get in God and turn your life around. Suggested Material:
*Image Is Everything*
*Counterfeits*

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

~~My Siblings~~

From Jamaica to America







I am thanking God today because two of my siblings whom I have not seen in over 7 years are finally here in America for the first time. I am so thankful because I missed them so much and now they have the opportunity to come to America and experience all there is for them to experience. This is a great country with many opportunities. Thank God for the U.S.A.



This is my younger sister (Renice):




This is Tava, my precious niece. Isn't she cute!!! I met her in person for the first time last week Wednesday. She is just four years old. She likes to paint and last night when they came to my house for the first time that is exactly what she did. She painted and enjoyed it.






I have two brothers and this is my youngest brother (Renard)





















I have two sisters still in Jamaica and another precious niece that was born in August of 2007 whom I have not met in person as yet. I am looking forward to the day when my mother will have all 6 of her children together in the U.S.A. Here are some pictures of my siblings who will be joining us shortly. Thank you, Jesus!